THE GREATEST GIFT FROM A FRIEND

I believe that people come into your life for a purpose.

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During my first year in college, I met a new professor (E) who was teaching Philosophy. We shared a flat with his nephew (R) who was also taking a pre-med course in the same university. It was a brilliant meeting of minds – and cultivating our interests in life’s philosophy, amidst the struggle of studies and cooking, cleaning and paying our bills. (Ang saya-saya, and feeling ko ang tali-talino ko talaga like Leah Salonga, being with these guys. Para kaming Bronte Sisters na puro books ang dala at kinakain! ).

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Ultimately E became a very good friend – a tutor, a challenger that opened my mind to a lot of things. And most of all to the greatest books ever written. He actually looked like Albert (Einstein), very soft spoken and has a very feminine and caring soul. Though he has not really came out – we felt that sense of belonging. Mutual understanding. An affinity with the muses! (Once while reading Dune, I imagined him as the mother reverend Mohiam of the Benne Gesirit and I am her student princess Irulan).

Books and reading and discussing them afterwards were our virtue – and became our greatest bond since. He gave me a list of books to read which I borrowed from his collections or from the library. This is when I discovered and loved the following authors and their works (to name a few that I could recall):

• Fyodor Dostoevsky (Notes from the Underground, Crime and Punishment, The Brothers Karamazov),
• Ayn Rand (The Fountainhead, Anthem, Atlas Shrugged, We The Living),
• Walt Whitman (Leaves of Grass)
• Thomas A Kempis (The Imitation of Christ)
• Jane Austen (Pride & Prejudice, Emma, Sense & Sensibility … etc)
• Arthur Schopenhauer (The world as will and Idea … etc)
• Victor Hugo (Les Miserables, The Hunchback of Notre Dame ..)
• Frank Herbert (Dune, Dune Messiah, Children of Dune … etc)
• JRR Tolkein (The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers…)

And so with Emerson, Charles Dickens, Soren Kierkegaard, Emmanuel Kant – that I also encountered in humanities and philo studies- which were given higher emphasis in Ateneo over the commercial courses.

Thus, I became a voracious reader, a thirsty soul – and I chose reading as a past time over any other else like watching movies or television. The library was my chosen playground – and I could read, sleep and even eat there from dusk till dawn …

I have not been in touched with E for more than a decade since then, but my affair with the books lingered on. But, thanks to facebook, I found him again last week and we made a reconnection. He is still with the university – has been Dean for awhile and now working in the administration.

I asked him for a new list to read and he gave me the following: Apparently they are all soul related, spiritual and maybe he sensed what I need at this point in time …

Mitch Albom – Tuesday with Morrie

Thomas Moore – Soulmates, Care of Soul, Soul of Sex

M Scott Peck – Road less Travelled

Randy Pausch – The Last Lecture

Harold Kushner – When Bad Things Happen to Good People

James Redfield – Celestine Prophecy

Ken Gire – Windows of the Soul, Moments with the Savior

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I believe that people come into (and go out) of our lives for a purpose. Maybe it is to guide us. To give us some lessons. To challenge us. To make us think. To be our silent companion. To make us happy. To lead us to redemption.

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

i think, i finally found it – in these beautiful creatures!

they don’t pass on judgement

they don’t care if you’re ugly or beautiful

rich or poor

young or old

brown or blue eyed

gay or straight

they are not ashamed to be with you

they totally trust you

and adore you

even if you stink

they still love you even if you failed to feed them

they wait loyally upon your return

their love is unceasing

unconditional

i’m blessed to find them in my life !!!

SISTERS & BROTHERS

To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and
sisters. We know each other as we always were.

We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.

~Clara Ortega

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I have outgrown all the TV shows that I loved before. Now I only watch Desperate Housewife because there’s nothing on TV. Ugly Betty is long goooone! And so were all the others … The only thing left meaningful to me now are the bunch of Walkers.

Still, I am fascinated by the on going drama, the characters, scripts and new twist of events … plus of course, the amazing number of GAY GUYS on it. There is Kevin, Scotty, Saul, and that gay brother of Robert Macllister. I was hoping at first that the new brother Ryan is also gay and that he would cause a lot more trouble – but apparently not!

In my life, there are mini dramas that continously unfold over the years – between us brothers and sisters and the in laws and partners … emotional roller coasters that involve blaming, deep rooted phobias, church related beliefs and traditions, betrayal of trusts and secrets, resentments, guilt and pent up anger, growing indifference and all that jazz! Enough to tear apart the great walls of china, and sign divorce papers as a family!

Maybe it is for this reason that we now all live relatively far from each other – and for those that still live a little bit closely – are distanced apart by silence.

Just like this weekend … my youngest sister bought her first brand new car. Being happy and excited for her, I asked her to test drive it … not realizing she was not feeling 100% after failing an exam that morning, and some other important reasons for her which I thought were just okay.

While maneuvering herself to park in a difficult space, she accidentally bumped her 3 day old car into a wall. It was so quickly done – and when I shrieked it was already late. I honestly could not have done anything at that moment to save her from hitting the wall. No one’s hurt though except the brand new car and my wailing, crying hysterical sister, who could not be appeased no matter what!

And so there were more stories behind. The bumped car was just the key that opened up deep seated emotions and resentments. The following day was a roller coaster of judgement … “blame me – blame you”, digging into deeper and hurtful issues including personality disorder attacks, righteousness, who did what, sacrifice and suffering, spiritual salvation and damnation, past decisions, history, present … opening old wounds and some family pandora boxes and retrieving issues and events that we can hurl at each other. Safe thing – we chose to send messages and not talk on the phone. The most hurtful thing was said about my being a useless brother – and so I have to defend myself then.

All because of the minor damage to the car’s bumper. After thirty exchanges of text messages, we were emotionally wound up and so decided to stop it and sort of made up. But someone’s BPs were up to the ceiling. And someone could not stop thinking.

And the other brother and sisters, got involved and took sides …. Then more guilts … and sorrys to end it …. just like some other past episodes that turned us bitter, this one tore us apart further … the car could definitely be fixed … but we ended up more damaged, and maybe unfixed for longer while, once more!

One thing though, being the eldest of five, I always try to be the big brother or sister – and try to glue our relationship as a family, appease and please and help them, the best that I could.

Deepest in my heart is to see and know them happy and successful wherever they are in their own families or by themselves if they live as such. This makes me happy as I found this one of my meanings in life. But it seems that time has changed and there are more important things to them and so I began to also live my life for myself… But they should know that I always care and here for them no matter what.

I may have some misgivings and mistakes, and things that could not be altered and recaptured are now part and remain in the picture, like it or not … We might end up loathing and ignoring each other to death … but in this ONE life that we have – I guess it is still a fact and we remain to be

BROTHERS AND SISTERS … born of the same blood

no matter what we do. We might just have to learn to truly forgive and forget and see if not understand each other’s side better, for our soul’s redemptions.

CHAR NA CHAR SI CHARO RONQUILLO

Spotted these photos of Charo Ronquillo.

She’s on Seventeen – March edition!

Ang ganda ng gagah!

DEATH … AND SOME IMAGES THAT DEFINED ME …

They say, just moments before you DIE …. there are some random IMAGES

that FLASH before your very eyes, just like in the movies.

If I were to choose I guess these are just some of the images of people (both living and dead)

that I will choose to be

randomly played (aside from my love and lovers, family, pets and friends

and unforgettable events in my life of course!) …

Celine Dion

To set the mood and the background – I want her to sing Immortality, ha,ha,ha! (at the height of self importance and meandering …char!)

So this is who I am, And this is all I know, And I must choose to live,

For all that I can give, The spark that makes the power grow And I will
stand for my dream if I can, Symbol of my faith in who I am, But you are my
only, And I must follow on the road that lies ahead, And I won’t let my heart
control my head, But you are my only

We don’t say goodbye,We don’t say goodbye, And
I know what I’ve got to be Immor-tality I make my journey through eternity I keep
the memory of you and me inside Fulfill your destiny, Is there within the child, My
storm will never end, My fate is on the wind, The king of hearts, the joker’s
wild, We don’t say goodbye, We don’t say goodbye, I’ll make them all remember me Cos
I have found a dream that must come true, Every ounce of me must see it
through, But you are my only I’m sorry I don’t have a role for love to play, Hand
over my heart I’ll find my way, I will make them give to me Immor-tality (oh
baby) There is a vision and a fire in me (ohh) I keep the memory of you and me,
inside We don’t say goodbye We don’t say goodbye With all my love for you And what
else we may do … We don’t say, goodbye

Michael Jackson, when young and before all the

beautiful changes!

May he rest in peace … now!

Farrah Fawcett – the famous hair and the smile

the image that inspired a lot of drag queens

May she rest in peace as well …

Unknown model … Fabulous, fabulous make up!

Vivienne St James, Drag Queen in Melbourne

Fake Photo of David Beckham, in full nude!

Me, having the time of my life, as a faux angel.

Audrey Hepburn …
Queen Elizabeth

David Beckham, again!

The original Charlies Angels in television!

I love all of them – but my favorite is Kate Jackson!

BB Gandang Hari

Angelina as Monaliza

Mimilanie Marquez winning Ms Internationale

and her english antiques

Madonna in her signature bra (paving all the way!)

Madonna, again!

Girls just wanna have Fun – Cyndi Lauper

Grace Jones, that look

Kate Moss, the style!

Marilyn Monroe, the sex symbol

and

Karen Carpenters

(i simply love her songs and her unique voice!)

and that she died of bulimia!

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