ETCETERA MAGENTA AND BLUES …

One year is definitely over and as my nature suggest, it is always good to look back and review the year’s highlights and lowdowns which brings me back to the following basic questions:

Am I wiser, happier and better this time?  Or have I become a total victim of first world consumerism and adopting to the pleasure seeking attitude that most men and women live by.  Am I happy where I am and with who I become?  Have I helped my family and people?

Have I extended and explored my freedom towards self fulfillment and expression?  Or have I only mastered the arts of extending my lashes with that magic mascara?

Am I still searching and do I know what I am searching for?  Or do I still think that the neighbor’s backyard is greener?  Do I seek for change in life or am I happy and content with what I am now?  Do I still seek for revenge, and for what?  Do I still hold my battles – big and small??

Am I going with the flow of LIFE and just being there?  Or do I still question and fight it.

Do I love and did I recycle LOVE over and over again to the same people in my life?  Or do I vacuum hate in my heart and burned candles and bridges to eternity.

But the more important question is -

“DO I LOOK BETTER OVER THIS YEAR ??? or HAVE I LEARNED TO USE AND PUT ON MAKE UP LIKE THOSE FABULOUS DRAG QUEENS OUT THERE ?”

AND THE ANSWER IS …..

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BETWEEN A DRAG QUEEN AND A LADYBOY

YES !!! 

I started doing drag at the end of last year, I don’t even know how to put on that fake lashes and lip liner - so I have been dragging my life for over a year now.  It is like a big science/art/music project that kept me all busy and crazy the whole year through – and kept my attention through winter and those utterly boring days.  

And so thus proved the point that when you are doing something that really interests you (passionately) time flies and you don’t even know it!  And so I created another person – or character – named Gayzha Belle.   And like the other drag queens – - – I now resent the fact that her life is more interesting and that she is starting to take control of my normal life – and taking a lot of space for her enormous wigs, headresses, costumes, shoes and the whole entourage!  Now she’s putting on that drag queen BITCHY ATTITUDE, which sometimes surprises me, where she got it from?  And SHE ???

Yes – she!  I  hate the fact that most drag queens address their drag character in the third person, and the other way around works as well.  It is the Hyde and Clyde syndrome (?) -  like there’s another evil split twin hiding in the closet and going out at dark time,  and I am beginning to get this habit, which I believe is not very healthy! 

I went to the flat of this drag queen and I asked her who lives with her since she contantly referred to another person living in the house. She answered – “Ohh, I live with Andy!”.  And I asked her who is Andy, is he her boyfriend or husband?   She said ”No, it is my Boy Personality!”.   I was totally flabbergasted.  As if being a drag queen is not weird enough, yes!

On the happier side – there is so much FUN doing this.  And the whole package is what you call FULFILLMENT de jour!  You meet new friends and the drag world is an endless opportunity for reinvention and creation. 

One benefit of being a drag queen or princess, is that you constantly become aware and conscious about gaining extra weight.  In a month’s time of not doing any shows, I went hybernating with food in my mouth and I ended up so FAT I could not get into that damned red sequined gown that I adore.  When you forget to tuck it in, other drag k tend to tap you on your belly – as if saying you need a lypo dharl.

You start to think if the audience really like your performance and on some nights it really stinks.   Booooring!!!!  You have to think of a better song, choreography, costumes.   You become a slave to this ”entertainment” world and start comparing and judging yourself with the other drag performers.  And so the competition is fierce.  Watch out for the daggers and claws at your back. 

But that is the world of DRAG.  Full of insecure and unhappy people.  And if you are not careful – you easily lose yourself in the wave of life’s illusions.  What is important and what I should always think about this thing that I do is making me a happy if not better person and there should always be that element of FUN in there. 

Or else it is just plain mockery! 

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